At the start of the year, I was fed up with how little I read and wanted to change that.
Now I haven’t consistently read five books a month, but my reading habit this year is an improvement over all of the past six years combined.
I’ve had anxiety humming in the background ever since I graduated from college. I was pulled in two different directions that conflicted with each other—to attain a semblance of a conventional life that everyone seemed to enjoy and to be the best writer I could be on my own terms.
I made half-hearted attempts to seem normal (which obviously didn’t work) and procrastinated on my authentic dreams in the process. One of them was writing a novel.
I had a few novels I started but never finished. I could blame it on laziness and procrastination. Or my inability to cope with severe anxiety and rejection.
But I shouldn’t be so hard on my past self. Perhaps part of the reason why I didn’t finish my literary fiction novel or my dystopian novel was that the plots I came up with at the time were weak and not compelling enough.
It wasn’t until this year that I realized my true love in fiction has always been fantasy.
I’m more motivated to write a novel right now than I was five years ago because I have four of writing experience, and in addition to that, writing flash fiction prolifically helped me come up with a variety of plots in a short amount of time. Based on the comments I’ve received and requests to expand certain stories, there will be an audience for my novel.
Reading the Warrior Bards trilogy by Juliet Marillier changed my direction with novel writing—I began to feel a spark again.
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